Common phrase
My most frequent used words...I don't know...I don't know and I don't know. I really don't know much. I don't know when or how or how come. I suppose the when doesn't truly matter in the grand scheme of recovery. The how doesn't get me anywhere either. I suppose how I am going to do this is a good answer to know.
Yesterday was sunny and warm enough to just toss on a sweater. I had a busy morning with my best friends 30th birthday wishes. But then around 3:30pm I was feeling..well, just "normal". It lasted a wonderful 6 hours, a taste of life almost free of depression and ED stuff. It was simply nice. I think there must have been rainbows in my coffee. I had or will have some schedule changes going on in my life. All for the better, better for the family and my recovery. I just finished working the second job. I think it has set in, I don't need to work 68 hour work weeks anymore. Then I had the chance to work my regular job during the week. Yes, that is right, no more weekends!! Woohoo. It has been 6 years of weekends, wow to much. It really just helps in enable my social anxiety. All this happened after a joint discussion, me D and the therapist all agreed I would snatch up the first weekday job that comes by. All this in attempt to put my marriage and ED into a more recovery friendly schedule. This was expected to happen in September, yeah!! We are 6 month early and boy do I need it. It is all still setting but honestly I don't see beyond a week right now. I live week to week, appointment to appointment. So, it will sink in when it all happens. It truly is good news, the best we have had in a while.
Yesterday was sunny and warm enough to just toss on a sweater. I had a busy morning with my best friends 30th birthday wishes. But then around 3:30pm I was feeling..well, just "normal". It lasted a wonderful 6 hours, a taste of life almost free of depression and ED stuff. It was simply nice. I think there must have been rainbows in my coffee. I had or will have some schedule changes going on in my life. All for the better, better for the family and my recovery. I just finished working the second job. I think it has set in, I don't need to work 68 hour work weeks anymore. Then I had the chance to work my regular job during the week. Yes, that is right, no more weekends!! Woohoo. It has been 6 years of weekends, wow to much. It really just helps in enable my social anxiety. All this happened after a joint discussion, me D and the therapist all agreed I would snatch up the first weekday job that comes by. All this in attempt to put my marriage and ED into a more recovery friendly schedule. This was expected to happen in September, yeah!! We are 6 month early and boy do I need it. It is all still setting but honestly I don't see beyond a week right now. I live week to week, appointment to appointment. So, it will sink in when it all happens. It truly is good news, the best we have had in a while.
posted by Mari at 8:11 AM
2 Comments:
I understand that "I don't know" is never a fun place to be for any length of time..
but KNOWING something as wonderful as only having to work the weekdays is Great!
Lovely to hear about a Normal, sunny day ...with Rainbows no less! ;D
Keep smiling, be strong, and keep using the little pluses, to make a big one.
We're all behind you, and my best wishes and lots of luck are with often.
You are a wonderful person Mari. THANK YOU.
:-) :-).
Matt
Post a Comment
<< Home