Just Another Day
One of those days when don't feel like trying. I want lay in bed with the blinds closed up tight. I spent the evening alone last night. I thought this would be good. You know all things you can do when your home alone and aloud to make noise and what not. I did nothing sat on the computer with the stupid TV on. Woke up at 3am with leg cramps which doesn't help and then the alarm went off at 5:20am and I didn't need to get up then. I just seem to feel extra shitty when my schedule is thrown off. I was supposed to go to therapy this AM, but she had to cancel. Plus the cereal bars I try to eat for breakfast are all gone. So, why should all this random crap ruin my mood...because I'm screwed up. That's why and not fighting today. So, I do have to leave my apartment. I'm not aloud to lay in bed all day. Is this good or bad hmmm. Well, better go get babycakes.
posted by Mari at 9:30 AM
3 Comments:
I hear ya on some days not wanting to get up after a rough night .. & some days can be really rotten..
But as Mommy's we can't just do that..
You have a little person who NEEDS you to get up & go find Something to eat & then go& do with her.
Here's the deal.. go find SOMETHING to eat .. I'm sure there is stuff in the house...right? hmmm ?
then maybe you & baby cakes can snuggle back up in the bed together & watch a video together...how's that sound?
ya I'm a bossy PIA.. I know .. but it's with love Hon...LOTS!
write me later & tell me how the rest of your day went ..ok/
BIG HUGS
Lala*
Mari, trust me when I say this.
You are not screwed up okay. You are just going through some tough emotional stuff at the moment, and you're also human, so the two things are just creating a bad vibe.
Sounds too simple, maybe it is, but if you were really screwed up, you'd probably be in a facility right now, possibly staring at the walls, talking rubbish about who knows what.
The fact you're human is one of those things, and I can't pretend to know what you're going through, I wouldn't be so crass, but I know enough about you after all this time to say hand on heart, you are not in a position, where you are a wreck.
You can and WILL come through this, een with few down days, yo will, and nobody certainly not me, is ever going to pity you, or want to wrap you in cotton wool, but I know that inside of you there is a beautiful, and wonderful person, and smeone a bit special.
I know that soon you will be able tofully connect with that person again, and no matter what has happeend or will happensin life, don't ever stop feeling proud of yourself.
You've become an athlete, a fantastic Mother, and a wonderful, normal, adjusted, grounded, and unique, young woman.
I certainly have and always will be proud to support you, and proud to know you, and nothing you did or wrote would ever change that.
In nearly 30 years, you've become somebody that deep down, everybody should aim to be like. There's a great beauty in a personality like yours, and a warm, rich Heart, that allows you to express yourself, with great dignity, depth, and passion.
Whatever you feel life is like now, it WILL get better for you, and I certainly believe 100% in that, and I won't stop believing it either.
I hope you find things get better for you today, and I want you to know, that for all the times you have posted about this, you should be proud of yourself, and it's that kind of courage and Heart, that has largely shaped the person you are, and that's a wonderful thing.
Sending you a BIG HUG, and all my best wishes.
as ever my main e-mail is ml.sd@lionrampant.co.uk.
You can ALWAYS get in touch with me, any time of the day, anytime you want to, and just say as much as like, and whatever you like. I will never mind one bit.
Take care Mari.
You are amazing :-) :-).
Matt
Just wanted to let you know I'm still out here, Mari - thinking about you and hoping you are hanging tough.
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