I have been keeping myself busy. It is my way of faking when I feel the blahh mood taking over. I just suck it up get out stay busy and then the day isn't so bad. My friend wanted me to help her at her house with some workouts. I did that Wednesday. It was hard with Natasha and her 6 month old. I didn't get to do any weights just showed her some stuff with what she had. I did get to jump on her treadmill for 2 miles. Then we headed out for a walk probably around 5 miles. She wants to do a walk 2 times a week and with the expected rain we headed out yesterday to avoid the Friday showers. This time we walked 10 miles in 3 hours, but no other workout for me :(. The kids handled it fairly well. My friend is getting ready for her wedding July 21st. Today I got to the gym for a 75 min strong class. It was awesome and I didn't realize the last time I went that this was a 75 min. one.
I am feeling a little stress. Not with anything in particular but that stress from always being response for something in some way. I always have Natasha all week and with Danny's test he comes home and puts on his headset goes to studying. We never go anywhere together and even if we need to run to the store for groceries I end up going with Natasha because he has to much to do. Part of me wants to be alone, walk out the door no kid to worry about go do my own thing. But, I am also lonely and yet never alone and wish I could hang out with Danny. Does this make any sense. I was supposed to go to grandma's near Danny's school today. He said he was going out for drinks after school when they were done with the 4 tests they have. I told him he should have his car pool buddy drive I'll go to grandma and we can ride home together. Well he said that sounded cool. Must not have been that cool last night I asked about Jon driving and it was Danny's turn and he never asked. So, yet again he gets to go out after school and I'm staying home. His plans did go through for grandma's he is having 15 people altogether for a cook out Monday. Since my work day is 16 hours I don't have anytime for anything else but worry about getting to work and back again the next day. I know it is odd I just want to be alone but at the same time I am lonely.
Anyway on a better note. I just became an Aunt for the first time. Last night Danny's sister had her baby. I don't have many details but I do know it is a boy 9lb 9oz. She turned out to be further along then the doctor originally thought. Which is great for me because he is here and I'll get to see him when I go home June 5th. Good for her too, every girls dream to have a shortened due date.
OK got to run Natasha is poring her water in her yogurt. Have a great weekend everyone!! Don't eat to much barbecue ;)
I am feeling a little stress. Not with anything in particular but that stress from always being response for something in some way. I always have Natasha all week and with Danny's test he comes home and puts on his headset goes to studying. We never go anywhere together and even if we need to run to the store for groceries I end up going with Natasha because he has to much to do. Part of me wants to be alone, walk out the door no kid to worry about go do my own thing. But, I am also lonely and yet never alone and wish I could hang out with Danny. Does this make any sense. I was supposed to go to grandma's near Danny's school today. He said he was going out for drinks after school when they were done with the 4 tests they have. I told him he should have his car pool buddy drive I'll go to grandma and we can ride home together. Well he said that sounded cool. Must not have been that cool last night I asked about Jon driving and it was Danny's turn and he never asked. So, yet again he gets to go out after school and I'm staying home. His plans did go through for grandma's he is having 15 people altogether for a cook out Monday. Since my work day is 16 hours I don't have anytime for anything else but worry about getting to work and back again the next day. I know it is odd I just want to be alone but at the same time I am lonely.
Anyway on a better note. I just became an Aunt for the first time. Last night Danny's sister had her baby. I don't have many details but I do know it is a boy 9lb 9oz. She turned out to be further along then the doctor originally thought. Which is great for me because he is here and I'll get to see him when I go home June 5th. Good for her too, every girls dream to have a shortened due date.
OK got to run Natasha is poring her water in her yogurt. Have a great weekend everyone!! Don't eat to much barbecue ;)
posted by Mari at 12:05 PM
5 Comments:
I understand exactly how you are feeling. I'm pretty much a single parent on Tues/Wed/Thur/Sat, because my husb doesn't get home until after the kid is asleep. Whenever I get free time (rarely), I have a hard time figuring out what I want to do .... be by myself or spend quality family time together. It's hard. I have no words of wisdom; I just wanted you to knwo that you are not alone.
On another note -- holy carpola at 9 lbs 9 oz! Congratulations!
I totally understand where you are coming from. Down time is so important for our sanity in life. It's more so that it would be nice to have the "OPTION" of being able to run out. I have no family close and neither does Ed. When we don't have the kids we usually waste our quality time working on projects or grocery shopping. I find that if you find a cool nature trail...you can pull out the stroller and just enjoy the nature. As for the baby? That's a healthy baby. My youngest, Lucas, was a 10lb'r. Surprisingly, he was the fastest and easiest birth.
I can sympathise it must be difficult Mari, when you possibly feel as if life is just something inbetween getting up and going to bed.
You'll get through it, partly because you have to, but partly because you're a fighter, and you'll make things happen.
Good luck :-).
Matt
Congrats on the new little nephew!!!! Being an aunt can be so much fun! :)
Congrats on becoming an Auntie! Sorry you're feeling bla... Believe me I know what you mean about feeling lonely but not being be your self.. Jamie is out right now & I'm home with recovering sick kids ..again..or is it still? Any who hope you get sometime to YOU soon sweetie!
BIG HUGS**
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