what the hell happen
Hey haven't been around much. Actually my Internet was down. I got new service and they sent me the wrong modem...anyway. My life basically sucks. Danny called it quits on me on memorial day. How is that for a day to remember? He has been in his own apartment since June 4th. I feel all kinds of stuff...mad, confused, lost, pissed, hopeless. Some days are better then others but I guess that is how it goes. Right now I am mad, mad that he gave up on us after all these years. He refuses to go to therapy, because he thinks that it will make us hate each other.
I am just about to head out to my nutritionist. I am dreading it, I have been for 3 days now. I have either cut my meal/snack as much as possible or been sitting alone eating when I am not even hungry. It has only been 2 weeks since I saw her. I put the pressure on myself to stick to it since I only had 2 weeks. The weeks before I had 3 weeks and lost weight with my start up menu. This happens when they get your metabolism going again, but deep down I was pleased. I have been learning to acknowledge my thoughts and feelings and just know that is how I feel. I was learning to not act on all my feelings and thoughts. As of late it has gotten much harder. I noticed I have been mean to myself for the past few days. I feel like a big loser for not getting my meal plan down right. My sister was in town for the weekend with her new husband. This was good kept me busy but it also gave me an excuse not to eat since we were always out. I also seem to have a harder time eating in front of people. Like the care I know.
OK just needed to check in give you the latest news in my soap opera. I need to go find some breakfast before I head out.
I am just about to head out to my nutritionist. I am dreading it, I have been for 3 days now. I have either cut my meal/snack as much as possible or been sitting alone eating when I am not even hungry. It has only been 2 weeks since I saw her. I put the pressure on myself to stick to it since I only had 2 weeks. The weeks before I had 3 weeks and lost weight with my start up menu. This happens when they get your metabolism going again, but deep down I was pleased. I have been learning to acknowledge my thoughts and feelings and just know that is how I feel. I was learning to not act on all my feelings and thoughts. As of late it has gotten much harder. I noticed I have been mean to myself for the past few days. I feel like a big loser for not getting my meal plan down right. My sister was in town for the weekend with her new husband. This was good kept me busy but it also gave me an excuse not to eat since we were always out. I also seem to have a harder time eating in front of people. Like the care I know.
OK just needed to check in give you the latest news in my soap opera. I need to go find some breakfast before I head out.
posted by Mari at 11:26 AM
5 Comments:
Mari, I'm so sorry your hubby decided to take that action. I cannot adequately understand why he might have done that, only he could truly know 100% how he feels.
I wanted to say though without patronising you, that I feel so proud for you, that you could write these feelings down I really do.
Whatever happens here, don't ever forget about or allow ot be damaged, that wonderful Heart of yours.
You are a wonderful Mother, and a truly wonderful person Mari, I really and honestly feel lucky so often, that I know people like you, and that people like you are out there, helping to keep my belief in humanity strong.
I know that words wcan't be enough here, but I wish you so much luck, happiness, and success through these hard times and beyond.
My support, and my best wishes are with you and will be for a very long time to come.
I'm sending you some BIG HUGS, and a guarantee, that whatever I can do, please don't hesitate to get in touch anytime at all, and I'll do what I can when I can for you, even if you just need to mail me a 5,000 word essay, about how you feel.
You will always have a place in my mailbox for as long as you want it.
You take care Mari, and very, very, very best wishes to you and Natasha. She is a very lucky little girl, because despite everything, she still has a Mother like you, and some children wouldn't get that.
I'm sure no matter what she'll grow up to be as wonderful as you, and with very little resentment, or negative effects from this hard time.
So you keep believing in that, and believe in yourself, and the precious maternal gifts you possess.
I'm very proud to have been following you, and I really hope you can find another sunrise in your life, you deserve it.
You are a fantastic young woman Mari, an thank you for all it means :-) :-)
Matt
I am really sorry to hear about this latest turn of events. Your split with Danny may only be temporary. You never know - a little space may improve things. (I am the poster child for this!)
Somehow you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and take care of yourself and Natasha. The rest will take care of itself.
{{HUGS}}
I'll keep this short..& say I'm sorry that Danny chose now to take time away.. as jen says.. perhaps it's just for now
You can keep going & doing what you KNOW you should. You ARE strong enough hon!
I'll look for you online in a bit :)
so sorry about Danny - and not that it is what you want, but at least you can focus on you for now... hugs.
Mari, I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say, but I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you. Take care of yourself.
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