I dont know

Well, still no plan. I do not know what I am waiting for. I wish I had the drive to get my fitness goals together. I want to workout, to look good, get some muscle tone. I just do not know why or how to get the spark back. I wish I had a bootcamp instructor to scream at me for not working out. As for food I eat to eat. I do not make lunch or diner just eat whatever. I am home alone all day who wants to cook for one. I end up munchen on popcorn or cereal. I noticed that I do not like to eat in front of people. Isn't that odd? Last night I was in the kitchen cooking dessert for Thanksgiving and realized I was eating my cereal in the kitchen. Danny had gotten in from work and was in the living room. If I were home alone I would have sat at the table or on the couch. The oddest part is I do not know why. He does not notice when I eat or make comments but I am hiding in the kitchen. I guess it is a subconscious thing because I have no clue why. I am going to get a notebook to put my workout meal plan in. I think I will have to make myself go to the gym and then hope that will get in the mood to keep it up. I am still 130 so I know it is more of a mental something I have to get through to feel good.