Two steps back....
That is what I do everyday. I just kept getting madder at myself for my bad days. I have high hopes and big dreams. BUT that is all they are hopes. I wake up the next day and make the same mistake day after day. I only get 3 workouts done in about 3 weeks and hardly any weights just cardio. I eat lots of salty processed food. I eat when I am not hungry and I know this and do it anyway. Why? I can not get myself on track. I am feeling very ugly and pudgy and I am full of bad mental talk. Which makes me have another bad day. I know that 99% of my problem is in my head, it must be mental. My self talk sucks. I even cried last night when I looked at myself in the mirror. I spend my nights pretending I am fine but inside I feel sad. I am try to talk myself out of having a bad day, but so far it isn't working. I don't know if all this ramble makes sense. I should just delete it. Now I just want to cry again. What is up with my emotions?
OK I'm done
OK I'm done
posted by Mari at 5:14 PM
9 Comments:
OK Kim I'm kicked. Couldn't help but laugh at the PMS thing since I don't get a cycle at all. I wish I was PMSing that would be graet but that isn't it this time.
Thanks Kim
You've got mail. If it helps at all :-).
Matt
sorry to hear you're down on yourself. Not sure what to say except you've been such an inspiration, I can't imagine that you are having problems. You are so tough and dedicated.
This will pass.
I hope you have a good weekend.
Mari, But could it be related to the stuff you are taking to try to get a cycle? It's got to be messing with your hormones in some way, right? Doctors never seem to highlight the emotional impact medication can have.
Like Kim said, you are powerful. You are strong and fit, even when you have a few off weeks :)
Don't delete!
Hey, girlie, chin up! I feel the same way a LOT of the time, I wish I could tell you because then I'd know too!! Its gonna be OK, just do your best.
Janelly
Life is cycles....we have ups and downs....you are just getting ready to jump back into your high again! You are fine! We are all here for you, my sweet! big hug...whack on the back of the head....welcome back to focus!
Sweetie...no you're not PMSing in the traditional sense NO...
but you know as well as I that the things that you're going thru & as Cheri mentioned being given are bound to REAALLLY play havoc with hormone levels & hence MOOD !!! & probably even worse ( is that possible??! ) than the rest of us because it's messing with everything that would be happening naturally
**Big HUG** sweetie you are GORGEOUS & somewhere under there you know it!!
GO read your OWN blog from a bit ago...you showed us how to truly see ourselves.. Now you look :D
Hope you're feeling better by the time I get back! :D
I think we all go through it from time to time. Just wade it out and try to stick to it as much as you can without beating yourself up for a slip or two. You'll get it back when you're ready.
Pamela said it perfectly!!! You are so beautiful Mari, we know it & you know it. It's so hard to see it in ourselves sometimes. You're the one who got me to see myself in a new way, do the same for yourself chica. (((HUGS))) I'm here for ya anytime you want to talk ;)
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