Good pain :)

Well never made it to the gym Monday. I ended up running around all day and Natasha did not take her late day nap. Danny gets home from work at 8 now,so I was going then. My sister Lori talked me out off it. She was going on a first date and wanted me and Danny to meet up with then at the Post. She even got me a babysitter for the evening. Lori moves home Dec. 19th so we decided to go with her. We did not go out long 8:30-10:30pm then came home. I knew I was going to miss that night, so I made a gym Dakar appointment for 9am Tuesday. It was a good time at the gym I went to a class called strong. It is for muscle building and we use barbell weights and go to fatigue. I was tired in 10 min but was able to hang in there once I was warmed up. After that I did half of the spin class before I had to get Natasha. It is a full body class and I hurt all over. The good pain :). I have some bad pain too. I have cramps they are not usually this bad. I am guessing it is the new pills. This was the first month on them. It did not work still got it twice this month. I have 2 more months on this brand and then it is off to the hospital for the D.N.C. My eating has been good and I am happy that for once I get to have an off day on Friday. I usually mess up here and there during the week then decide I do not get an off day. This just leads me to keep cheating and then 7 off days later I trying to get going again.

I got the tree up last night Natasha loves it. I have lights garlen and some bows on it. I do not know if I want to put up the ornaments because I am afraid Natasha will get one. I am looking forward to Christmas this year Natasha makes it that much more fun. She loves the tree, but hates the dancing snowman. We still need to pick out a tree topper. The tree I got this year since we wont get a chance to get are decorations from home and we will be here in MI for at least three years. I put the tree in the corner between the couch and the entertainment center hoping it keeps Natasha from climbing in it. We will see how that goes. OK I am off to find a heating pad.

Hey there use to be a time guide at the end of my post and it is not there and it never comes up right? Did anyone else lose this option?

OK another edit just wanted to add that at the bar I had 2 waters and 1 diet cook. I did not have any of the yummy wings. I also got an early Christmas present from Danny...a remote starter for my car. I love it and was jumping up and down when he gave it to me, it gets installed Monday.

All is not lost :)

Just wanted to update real quick. Thanksgiving went well, I got everything cooked and over to grandma's right on schedule. The dinner was not hard and we never felt stressed over any of it. We did have a few obstacles with the water. The water pipe burst again 1am Thanksgiving morning. The fix it guys came at 10 am to fix it. So, I was prepping dinner and it was a bad time to be without water. We got it back around 11am and the guy who soldered the pipe said it will not brake again. I had to work Friday Saturday and Sunday(today) all 16 hour shifts. I was up late playing games Thursday, so I was wicked tired. Friday was very busy we did not get a lunch brake till 5:30pm. I did not eat much but when I did I tried to eat good. With a friend in from Boston and all the dinner preparation I had no food prepared for the work days. Friday night I was tired but I got a chance to read Jess's blog. " But all is not lost, we still have the weekend, right?" was the last line I read and I sucked it up right then and there and packed as best a I could for a BFL day. I ended up with enough food for most of the day and had time for a quick trip to the store for some apples. I know I am pretty wiped out on Mondays and I am not use to being up so late and doing three 16 hour days I usually only do the 16 hour thing on the weekend. I am going to let myself hang in for the morning and then I will take Natasha to the gym around 2pm tomorrow. Danny went to the grocery store for me today so I am good to go. I just have to get to Friday and I will be on a roll.

I dont know

Well, still no plan. I do not know what I am waiting for. I wish I had the drive to get my fitness goals together. I want to workout, to look good, get some muscle tone. I just do not know why or how to get the spark back. I wish I had a bootcamp instructor to scream at me for not working out. As for food I eat to eat. I do not make lunch or diner just eat whatever. I am home alone all day who wants to cook for one. I end up munchen on popcorn or cereal. I noticed that I do not like to eat in front of people. Isn't that odd? Last night I was in the kitchen cooking dessert for Thanksgiving and realized I was eating my cereal in the kitchen. Danny had gotten in from work and was in the living room. If I were home alone I would have sat at the table or on the couch. The oddest part is I do not know why. He does not notice when I eat or make comments but I am hiding in the kitchen. I guess it is a subconscious thing because I have no clue why. I am going to get a notebook to put my workout meal plan in. I think I will have to make myself go to the gym and then hope that will get in the mood to keep it up. I am still 130 so I know it is more of a mental something I have to get through to feel good.

BROCCOLI :O

Diet, diet what diet. I have been off ever since the anniversary. I really do not think I can go back to it, because the word broccoli makes me gag. I think if I smell broccoli I will be sick. OK deep breaths to many broccoli references. I feel like a big blob. I have no motivation to get to my workouts. I have not had a set routine and it is making hard to get myself to the gym. I am trying to find a good time for me and Natasha to get there. Danny's schedule changed and he is home in the evening. I do not know what that means for my gym routine but I really need to pick a time I can stick to. Then I need to suck it up and go until it is just a habit like it use to be. I went to exercisefriends.com to see if I could find a gym buddy. I know I wont skip out if I have someone to meet up with. Well, I will see how that goes. Hey Nancy do you go to Lifetime. That would be the best! OK I am going to figure out when the hell I will be getting my squishy self to the gym. :)

fun fun fun

My entire anniversary was wicked fun. Danny let me sleep in and went out with Natasha. I woke up to Danny and a dozen roses, they are full bloom now they are gorges. He also got me my facial cleansing clothes and two sugar free monsters. We took a shower when Natasha took her nap. My sister came over later to babysit for us. She helped me sneak the champange and crackers into the car. We were feeling tired when it was time to go, so we went out for coffee before dinner. We drove to P.F Chang's for dinner it was only an hour wait. While we were waiting we went for a drive and ended up making out in a dark park it was fun and we made it back to the restaurant just in time for dinner. After dinner we walked around the mall and then headed back toward home. We ended up stopping at the Post bar for some hockey and beer. The hole day was lots of fun. I did eat good during the day, oatmeal and salad. I have been off since then after last night I did not plan for today and basically have not been on plan. Tonight is Dannys last evening shift at work. It will be great to have him home for dinner time. My diet can go great all day just to crash after dinner. I just made a cheesecake for a friends birthday. I asked her what she wanted me to make her and that is what she picked. Well, I just screwed it up, when I was putting the cake in the oven I realized I added to much sour cream. I have to work my two 16 hour shifts this weekend so do not know how I am going to fix it. I put it in the oven anyway, we will see how it comes out. Oh well what can you do.

Day 9 of 54

I have been doing the hell diet for over a week now and I like it. It has decreased my cravings for sure. Last night I baked 4 dozen chocolate chocolate chip cookies and did not eat any. I did not even have to try because I just did not want one. I never did test my body fat so hoping to get that done tomorrow. I did weigh in on Monday and had lost 6 pounds this past week. I feel better and can not wait to see how far I can come by Jan. 1st. Tomorrow is me and Danny's four year anniversary. I got some cute little bottles of champange and some cheese and crackers. I am going to bake up some corn muffins for breakfast, he really likes them. I do not know yet where we are going to dinner. I was hoping to go to the park and sit on the swings before dinner, but winter hit OMG. I saw snow today and the air felt wicked cold. Oh and obviously Danny got the night off work. Oh yah by the way Natasha walked Monday. She will do three to four steps between me and Danny. It is wicked cute she thinks it is funny it cracks her up. Well, off to cook up some yummy muffins I will let you know how tomorrow night goes.

Pieces of me

I want to be.....I want to be strong and muscular. I want to be smart and witty and funny. I want to be looked up to. I want to be out going and fun. I want to be wild and loud. I want to dance dance dance. I want to be like you. I want to be skinner then the girl sitting next to me. I look up to you. :).......I like you. I want to laugh, to be off the wall. I want to feel alive to run down the beach and feel the air deep in my lungs. To smell the ocean and hear the waves.

it broke :(

OK just fix the friken thing already!! Water just burst out of the bottom of my hot water heater and its scalding hot and my super qucik defense is at work. I got it off but WTF fix my water heater. AAAHHHHHH

:) :) :) :) :) :p

I think my water is fixed finely. It was still leaking they patched that. Then poor water pressure in the kitchen and no hot water. They came right over when they found out, that was nice. Its been a crazy day well not the day me. Natasha was winy today and it made me crazy, she was over tried. She woke up crying some time in the night and I could not fall back asleep. I was of course sleeping when it was time for her to get up. Thank goodness Danny got her because I was sooo tired. I missed 9am spin class and did Tae Bo 2 advanced instead and Natasha helped me it was interesting. My nights getting away from me so I need to go make food for my two 16 hour days. Today's meal plan went good.

meal1. Oatmeal+ protein powder
meal2. mayoplex lite (recovery)
meal3. Chicken & broccoli
meal4. Chicken & broccoli
meal5. Salmon & spinach

I made it to the gym!!!

I had the ultrasound and all is well. The technologist told me there are no cysts or polups. Looks like I get to hold off on the DNC for 3 more months. He wants me to try on last birth control. On house hold matters the carpet dried and they came in today and steam cleaned it. It appears there is a tiny leak in the pipe the plumber fixed and the water pressure in the kitchen is not doing so good. I took a shower and my usually wonderful hot water sucked, so looks like I need to call the office in the morning. I was really bummed after the ultrasound because I was not going to get a chance to work out. Natasha was napping and Danny was off to work. I had to make are friends dinner, because I said I would they just had a baby. I had to help Lori(my sis) empty the stuff of hers out of my car, it has been there for 2 weeks now. I also need to bake a batch of cookies because Danny asked so nicely for me to make some to send home to Sarah his 12 week pregnant sister. I am good at staying busy I get myself into all kinds of things. blah..blah..blah..I am rambling OK to the point. I got my work out in because Danny said to put me first and make an appointment for Natasha at the child care. So, I did for 2pm I had 2 hours yahoo. I did my chest, shoulder and tricepps routine and had enough time so I went ahead and did biceps and back. Those two are usually broken down in a different day for me. It felt great to get there finally. I stuck to my eating plan, but it is not true hell diet because I have to use up some food that is already in the house.

meal 1. Oatmeal w/ protein powder
meal2. Chicken and broccoli
meal3. cottage cheese and berries (recovery)
meal4. chicken and spinach

CHEST
bench press 12x at 75
8x at 85
8x 90
incline bench press 10x at 75
8x at 80
6x at 85
incline dumbbell press 15x 25
pectoral fly 15x 60

SHOULDER
shoulder press 10x 30
8x 35
5x 40
lateral raise 15x at 12.5
10x at 15
8x at 20
lateral wing arm raise 15x at 20

TRICEPPS
kick backs 15x at 10
10x at 12.5
10x at 15
rope pull down 10x at 50
8x at 60
6x at 70
BICEPS
barbell curl 18x at 30
8x at 35
6x at 40

isolated dumbbell 10x at 12.5
8x at 15
6x at 17.5
hammer super set 10lb till on fire

Back
I don't know what my weight was for this and my papers are in the car going off my memory here so I will just put what I did not how much I lifted.

one arm bent over dumbbell row 10rep, 8reps, 6 reps

wide grip lat pull down 10x at 70
8x at 75
6x at 80
The next exercise is performed laying face down while pulling the weights toward you looks like you are rowing but face down.
8x at 35
6x at 40
Then some quick abs before I had to go get Natasha.

A wet night ....Very wet

Danny came home from work last night. Um he always comes home guess I should say when Danny got home from work last nigh at 10:30. Ok anyway I am tired but I will get the story out...yawn. So we were chit chaten how was your day ladie-da. I had to get in the shower, so he came with me. Dont you just love that! We went straight to room after that (you know why). So we are laying in bed still awake and its 12:30am. All the sudden we here a big wosh sound. The noise has not yet registers in my head and Danny is running down the hall. So, I jump out of bed and catch up to him on the living room. I think his hockey defense skills kicked in he reacted super fast. He opened the door to the hot water tank and a big rush of water came spraying out. He was instantly soaked and the pipe that was broke off was about face level. He turned the water off, I can not believe how fast he got it off. Our living room is soaked and the spray hit our entertainment unit a shelf and a tall floor lamp. The washer is soaked too it sits next to the hot water heater. We spent at least an hour drying everything off and piling all the wet towels in the tub. The worst part was today no water, no flushing toilets, no washing the sapping wet towels. The maintenance guys came by and put a big dryer pointed under the rug. Its some heavy duty thing looks like a giant whistle. Somehow I kept Natasha away from it without any drama. They said we are very lucky they have had some floods from the pipes braking and the carpet is floating. Ya we had one wet night and with a the clean up this morning I did not get to the gym again. No workout I am off to a bad start. I know I will be on a roll as soon as things calm down. I have my ultrasound tomorrow, just a technicality there wont find anything. I counted the weeks today and the way it works out I have my period just as many days as not getting it. I use to call it having my "friend" now we say the "bitch". Danny is a little hostel because "bitch" is putting a damper on or sexy life. LOL he is so funny. Have a good night.

Day 1 of 54

My family is crazy. I could write a book about all the shit that goes down. But you know what? You would not believe it. It would turn out more outrageous then a month on the set of passions. Yup drama after drama chapter after chapter you would think I was a pathological liar. My family wears me out sometimes I am sure all families do.

Danny's birthday was a blast we watched the patriots play the Colts. We had lots of beer and some buffalo wings. Oh by the way if you a a place called the Post near you get the wings best wings I ever had. Danny loved the carrot cake I made for him it came out awesome. I am glad we went out I almost said forget it because my sister forgot she said she would babysit Natasha. I don't know how she did that. She really pissed me off and I don't get mad easy. I had already talked to her about it that day. I do not know how someone can do that. She said I should call and remind her since she often forgets. Well, I did at 11am does she need an hourly reminder. Anyway she came by so we could go out.

On the fitness front the diet is going great. I started the hell diet and had no cravings today was easy. I did miss my workout because my best friend had a baby so, I went to the hospital and got home in time for Danny to run to work. The gym did not have any baby appointments open which really stinks. What can you do I will go tomorrow I promise. As for this challenge I am doing it till New Years that's my goal. I like the way other bloggers have there count down, so I am going to figure out how many days that is so I can count down. It feels good to be on plan and I am super motivated. This is going to be a good challenge. I did my weigh in and before pictures today. I hope to get Danny to get my BF% I can not do it myself. Hey honey want to pinch my fat :p

I decided to get myself into better shape, so I pulled up my 12 week picture. I was going to plan my workout routine and do some food planning Monday. I had to bake a birthday cake for my cousin Nikkei and Danny today. My Aunt called me this morning asking for a cake for tomorrow and I work 16 hours on the weekend so I had to get it done. I through on my jeans and baahhh! dam they were tight. I knew I had to get moving but what a reality check. Things have just been crazy lately with Uncle Levs funeral and doctor appointments for all three of us. I am getting tired just thinking about it. So I talked to Danny I have to say I am very lucky Danny supports me 100% in everything I do. Sometimes I don't give him enough credit and I assume he will not be behind me on some stuff or think my opinion is dumb, but he always shows me. I think I would prefer to get my workout done first thing in the morning I wanted to give myself a set time to go. The problem was Natasha gets up at 7 or 8 and Danny works at 1pm. I ran the idea by him asked if he wanted me to go at 9am or 8am. I did not feel right telling him I wanted to go at 8 every morning because then he would never get to sleep in. He has Natasha all weekend and he would have her every morning while I was at the gym. Well, he offered to get up so I can go every morning at 8am. He said I could do what ever I felt would work best. Thanks to my sweetheart I get to roll out of bed and go. I got both cakes baked Nikkie is turning 18 and wanted a peanut butter oreo cake. Danny will be 26 Monday, he want carrot cake and I have to go whip up some cream cheese frosting. Well I have an up coming Christmas party and some tight jeans to get me motivated. Lori (my sister) is going to the gym near me she has some free passes so we can go together some. That will be fun for us. She is moving home in Dec. back to Massachusetts. I told her I would help her so I am driving her home Dec 19th and then flying back. I am going to miss her, but the job market is better there and she has a place to stay already. Oh and I get her bench and her stepper since we can not fit everything in the car so bonus for me. With Danny's birthday being Monday he has the day off. We will go to lunch probably UNOs his favorite. We are having cake in the evening with some family and then meeting some friends for the game.

Ok just lost the end of my blog some how I stink at this web site stuff. I am going to make forsting and get to bed I ahve a long weekend. Here is a picture of Natasha getting ready to turn in after a long day. Nothing like a cup of milk and a rock in the chair to end the night. I will have my plan ready. Good night.

Hey body remember me

Just a reminder to get my butt in gear!!!!

I love roller coasters

I am sick of the emotional roller coaster that I am on. I am having one of those days feeling ugly and down. I was wondering why when Danny said I get like this every 2 weeks. Oh I did not relies the timing of it. My doctor is still trying to fix me but I get my time of the month two times a week. Yup its twice the fun. This has been going on since Natasha was born. That was 14 months ago, wow 28 TOMs. No wonder my head is off those dam hormones. I saw the doctor Monday he has been putting me on different brands of birth control for 3 months at a time. He gave me 3 months worth of the new brand I am to try. I also have to have an ultrasound Thursday. If the ultrasound is positive for polup or cyst I have to have a dnc. If the birth control does not work I have to have a dnc. So I figure I am either getting the dnc this month or in three because I do not think after all this time the pill is going to start working. When Dr.White said dnc I was shocked. I did not ask any question don't know much about it. The only thing I know is that he will send me to the hospital to have it done. I don't want one, but what if I need it. Well it better work. Think I will go look up that stuff. I love goole.